Pork Or Chicken On The Menu? Arkansas-South Carolina Comparisons

First of all, we're talking about two small southern states that have some similarities, but not a long history on the football field. So here are a few contrasts and comparisons:

SC: longest tenured politician: Strom Thurmond. AR: longest tenured politician: Frank Broyles. Broyles appeared in a Civil War movie. Strom Thurmond appeared in the Civil War. Thurmond was in power past the age of 100. Broyles was booted from office in his early 80's. Advantage: SC

SC: home of Hootie and The Blowfish. AR: home of Hootie and the Blowhard (Herring).
Advantage: SC

SC: has the ol' Coach with lots of ball plays. AR: has the coach who plays with his balls a lot. Advantage: SC

SC: has a Quaterback named Smelley. AR: has a coach whose record vs. non-Mississippi schools in the SEC is smelly. Advantage:SC

SC: has a player named Succop (pronounced Suck-up). AR: has a head coach who does suck up. Advantage: even

SC: has a Presidential candidate who is a lawyer with TV evangelist hair. AR: has a Presidential candidate who is a preacher who should sue his hair for abandonment. Advantage: SC

SC: has the nickname of the 'Cocks. AR: has 2 QBs named Dick. Advantage: even.

SC: mascot is a chicken. AR: mascot is a hog. Have you ever heard a meat "tastes like pork?" Advantage: AR

SC: has a receiver named McKinley. AR: has receivers who have hands as soft as Mt. McKinley. Advantage: SC

SC: has a head coach who is a scratch golfer. AR: has a head coach who has won scratch, goes for the green, and has a golf ball with a good lie guaranteed every time. Advantage: SC

By the time the Ol' Ball Coach gets to town next Friday, Hootie may have successfully spun the win over the Fla. House Of Cupcakes into a meaningful victory. I'm not buying and seriously doubt if many other fans will either. Speaking of fans, there were a lot of them disguised as empty seats Saturday. The Houstonistas have talked incessantly about the tickets sold and attendance figures in defending the dork.

The OBC doesn't lose 3 in a row very often, but Hootie does. Tennessee was lucky last night, but when haven't they been lucky against us in Knoxville? Mississippi State hardly looks like the automatic win the Hootie-ites have been projecting ever since the schedule was drawn up. And when was the last time the Hogs won in Baton Rouge? 1993, that's when.

As much as I hope the Hogs win the last 4 games, I know that like the sun coming up in the East, Hootie getting outcoached and giving away a couple of games is a virtual certainty.